I will....

On Saturday 9th February, Megan and I went down to Toronto City Hall and got married. We had invited our friends Kalynn and Craig to meet us downtown; we didn't tell them why, but they guessed what was going on. Apart from them, we told no-one.

So, why elope in such a secretive manner? Good question. Firstly, it is much easier for us to get married in Canada than in England. To do it in England would require a special visa which is quite expensive. Since neither of us has very much money we decided that Canada was the place to do it. This of course would make it very difficult for my family and friends to be there, or, at the very least, an expensive proposition. Since we didn't want to impose on people we decided not to tell them. To make it fair, since my family couldn't make it, we decided not to tell Megan's parents either.

Secondly, neither Megan or myself likes to be the center of attention. We both found it awkward enough with only two friends watching; I'm not sure we could have managed it with a room full of our nearest and dearest hanging on our every word.

Finally, I think Megan secretly quite likes the romantic side of being able to say we eloped. She will never admit to this if asked.


It was pretty hard not to let slip what we were planning. It was even harder having to tell everyone what we had done on the Sunday morning. Man, was that an awkward morning.



Anyway, we met Kalynn and Craig outside the town hall and went up to the wedding chambers. We had to wait for the previous ceremony to finish. It was an odd affair; the bride was all dressed up in a huge fluffy wedding dress, but we never once saw her with the groom. In fact, it was very unclear which of the four men in suits was the groom. They all exited the chambers separately.

When it was our turn, we entered in and started to walk down the aisle to the front. Frantic gestures from the officiant told us we had to slow down, she expected us to slowly process the couple of steps through the empty room. In fact, a number of times in her little prepared speech she would refer to our audience and then look slightly sheepish when she looked out and saw only Kalynn and Craig.
The officiant read out two poems, one was the cheesiest and soppiest lovey-dovey poem ever, but the second was a First Nations poem, which was pretty cool. Must remember to look that one up!

The ceremony went by pretty quickly and without much fuss. However, despite the lack of pomp and circumstance when it came to saying I will, (whatever happened to "I do"?), I looked at Megan and she looked as happy as I felt.

After the service we all went to the King Edward Hotel for a Champagne tea, with beautiful finger sandwiches, more cakes than you can shake a marriage certificate at, and the best cup of tea I've had in Canada.

So, that's it. We're now married. Crazy. And we're both looking forward very much to seeing everyone back in England this summer. We're going to be over for the whole month of July, so there really is no excuse not to find time for us.

Here are a few photos from the day. Thanks to Kalynn and Craig for taking the pictures and being expert witnesses. They were top notch witnesses. I'd trust them to witness anything.

Moving on up

Last weekend we finally moved into our new apartment. We didn't move far, only across the parking lot (or car park), but the new place is a million times nicer than the old one; the kitchen in particular is a massive improvement.

Meg and her parents did most of the moving of boxes whilst I was at work on the Friday. By the time I got home, almost all our possessions had already been transported from one building to the other. All that was left for me to do was the furniture, futon and bed. These all had to be taken out the old apartment, down the corridor, into the lift, down one floor, out the building's main doors, across the snowy car park, down the car ramp into the underground garage of the new building, into the next lift, up 4 floors, along the corridor and into the new apartment. It was relatively straight forward and thankfully we had our friend Peter to help; without him we would have really struggled with the futon and the bed. We had everything moved by lunch time on the Saturday and everything unpacked by the evening with no major problems.

The only trouble we had was with the lift in the new building. There are three lifts, only one of which is available for residents, the other two being for the use of the contractors who are still building the upper floors. Unfortunately the residents' lift broke down mid-morning. This left the contractors' lifts, which for some reason cannot be called; once they are on a floor they stay there until someone on that floor gets in to it and takes it somewhere else. This means that every time you want to use the lift you have to find what floor it's on, walk up the stairs and bring it back to where you need it. Needless to say, not convenient. So we left Meg with the lift and she spent the morning acting as an elevator attendant, taking the lift up and down the building for the contractors and residents as it was needed, mostly for our benefit of course. She even ended up making appointments with workmen to come and collect them at certain times. She is so organised.

Anyway, we're in and all settled now. As I mentioned, the building is still under quite heavy construction. Most of the upper floors are still unfinished and even our floor had bare plaster walls and a dusty concrete floor in the communal corridors when we moved in. The lift still isn't working, there is no lock or intercom on the building door, the post-room is un-operational, we didn't have hot water for 4 days and there is nothing at the bottom of the garbage chute except for a heap of (mostly our) rubbish piling up in the basement. Despite all these omissions, we're still both much happier here than we were in the last place. You can compare them two places in the panoramas below. Apologies for the crudeness of the panoramas but there wasn't time to paint them or build them to scale. And yes, I do own Green Lantern fleeced trousers.


The old place: - dark, no space and a tiny "St. Catz - like" kitchen.


The new place: - light, plenty of space and over-sized American style kitchen appliances. I reckon I could fit a whole turkey in the microwave!

The view from our new balcony: note the crane, the train tracks and the graffiti. But it's covered in snow and therefore looks pretty.


The only things we need to do now are hang a few pictures on the wall and think of a suitably amusing name for our Wi-Fi connection. Our personal favourite so far is "This is not the Wi-Fi you are looking for". Any other suggestions gratefully received.

No longer a burden on society

Yesterday I was given a job working at the Montessori school at which I've been running a science club.
This is good news. Even though term starts on Monday, the science curriculum is similar enough to the English one that I'm not worried about having a lack of time to prepare. The hardest thing will be trying to teach science without all the lab equipment that I am used to. No, what is worrying me is that I am also going to be teaching history. Not any old history either: Canadian history. This could be interesting.

I'm reading through the text book to try and learn about New France (not, as I assumed, anything to do with the French revolution) and the war of 1812. I now realise that trying to learn history from a school text book is like trying to watch a documentary by listening through your neighbours wall; I'm getting the broad outline but there are an awful lot of nuances I'm missing out on.

Anyway, back to work. I've got a lot to do before Monday. Wish me luck. Oh, and any humanities teachers who have ideas for activities or projects I could do, please do get in touch!

P.S. The picture below is of a set of rules that hangs on the wall of the school. I really hope they don't still follow them all, especially number 3.

Happy New Year

I spent the Christmas holidays at Meg's parents' home a few hours north of Toronto. The very day I left, the snow began to fall, and there has been a fresh snowfall every few days since. The snow really does make everything look very pretty. I think Meg's family quickly got tired of me gushing about how festive everything looked, but it really does transform the landscape into one of stunning beauty. Even in Toronto, where the constant traffic turns the snow to a brown mush, I still think the snow makes the place look special.

Anyway, highlights of the festive season:

Tourtière -  A Quebecois traditional meat and potato pie made with ground pork and beef. It's traditional to eat it on Christmas eve or Christmas day. It's very tasty.

Mint flavouring -  It seems that Canadian Christmas food is synonymous with mint flavouring. We had mint candy canes, mint flavour chocolate brownies, mint ice cream and mint flavoured cookies.  Whilst I enjoy an after eight mint as much as the next man, I'm not sure I'm on board with this excessive minty obsession.

Clearing Snow - A quick caveat: I only had to do this twice, I got to use the fun machinery rather than the shovel and I only cleared a very small area. That said, clearing snow is awesome and there is no possible way that it could ever get boring or feel like a chore.

My expert snow clearing technique

Meg doesn't like it

Meg's dad brings out the heavy artillery.

Walking to town - Every Christmas we would go for a walk as a family. The countryside around our house looks great in the winter time. If there is snow it looks even better. One day this year, I suggested to Meg that we walk to the nearest mall, a journey of about an hour and a half. Meg's family now think we are crazy. They told everyone that we had walked all the way into town. Canada is definitely not a walking kinda place; we hardly saw anyone out and about. Everything has been designed for driving. It's easy to park and difficult to walk. Even going from one store to the next, it's easier to get back in the car and drive across the parking lot. Walking across means taking your life in your hands.

Crummy Christmas movies - Meg and her sister forced me to watch their traditional Christmas family movies: The Santa Clause, The Grinch, Eloise at Christmas time (of course we had to see Eloise at the Plaza first to ensure that I understood the complex back-story) , The Muppet family Christmas, Elf, and The Magician's house. There was a distinct lack of Gremlins, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Brazil, Edward Scissor hands, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Batman Returns, and, most importantly,  Die Hard. To make matters worse, they watched Muppets' Christmas Carol and Home Alone without me. I got my revenge by making them watch The Snowman. And it was only introduced by David Bowie! You're welcome.

The Illuminated park - This local park was be-decked with lights by local businesses and charities. It was so grossly over the top that it was quite breathtaking. Like a festive Blackpool Illuminations.

This Snowman - Which is pronounced with all the emphasis on snow, as if it's his surname. This is also fun to do with most superheros.

Happy New Year to you all and I look forward to seeing you all later in the year!

The Toronto PATH

Winter is drawing in fast. It's getting colder and I've seen the odd snowflake drifting through the air. I can't wait for the first big snowfall; everyone assures me I'll get over it pretty quickly, but I'm still excited by the prospect of a white Christmas. But so far, it isn't the external conditions to which I'm finding it hard to adjust, it's the level of heating indoors which is killing me.

It's cold out there today. It's cold out there everyday.

When I first arrived I equipped myself with heavy boots, a heavy down-filled coat and a (fake) fur trimmed hat to keep the cold out. All totally unnecessary. Every building in Toronto is heated to such an extent that if you were to wear all that stuff you'd drown in your own sweat within minutes. Every house, shop, subway, cafe, restaurant, bus or train is determined that on entering their premises you have to strip down as far as your own personal sense of decency allows and then carry all your fur-lined outdoor clothes like some sort of trapper laden down with pelts. It's impossible to dress appropriately; you either freeze to death on the streets, or you run the risk of heat-stroke indoors.

All this was troubling me when I discovered the Toronto PATH this week. To avoid having to go outside at all in the winter, the crafty Torontonians have built an entire underground city beneath the downtown area. There are 28 km of underground walkways which link dozens of downtown locations as well as housing 1,200 stores and services. It would be entirely possible to live down there and never have to see sunlight ever again. Come the eventual Zombie apocalypse, Toronto will be happily sipping on their Starbucks, getting their nails done, visiting the cinema and trying to decide which of the many food courts they should visit for lunch whilst the rest of the world will be trying to figure out how to make a CB radio work and whether or not rats are safe to eat.

And never seeing sunlight again is quite a likely prospect; successfully navigating 28 km of underground tunnels is not particularly easy. I went down there trying to get to Union station from the bus depot. Overground this journey would take perhaps half an hour. I was down there all day. I'm confident that I saw every inch of the PATH. Occasionally I would pop my head above ground and find myself in an investment bank or a management consultancy and have to retreat back down to the world of shadows and bargain dental care.

By the time I eventually found my way to Union station I emerged, blinking in the daylight and decided to never forsake the surface world again. But I know that once the novelty of the snow has worn off I'll be headed underground again.

BBQ, Beer and Bond

Part 1:-  in which I eat lots of meat.

Our friend Peter took us to a Korean BBQ last week. All you can eat meat for $16. You're presented with platters of steak, ribs, pork, chicken, salmon, squid, liver, sausage etc. all raw and all marinated in various deliciousness. On each table is a gas powered BBQ grill and you and your dining companions try to put as much meat as you can on, whilst also trying to look like you don't care that someone just stole that perfectly cooked piece of steak that you'd been carefully turning every 30 seconds and had left if for just a moment while you put on some chicken to go with it. I'm over it, it's no big deal.
But the meat keeps coming, they bring out platter after platter, each one more delicious than the last. In fact, you can't cook fast enough to stem the oncoming tide of fresh meat. Eventually, you start cooking things you don't want, just to make space on the table. A whole platter of liver is cooked in seconds and enthusiastically offered around the table. It doesn't help that no-one knows what cooked squid looks like, or at least how it differs from raw (and no doubt poisonous) squid. Best leave it a few more minutes. Why are we even cooking squid when there are two more platters of steak and ribs to cook?
Some people fill up on rice that they stubbornly insist is delicious on its own. They know who they are. It could be the greatest rice in the world, gently seasoned with white truffle oil and saffron, I'll stick with the meat.
I don't know why it's fun to pay to have to cook your own meal, but it is. If you've never done it, I recommend it. Don't bother with the squid though.

Part 2: - in which I'm going to controversial.

I'm basing this on limited experience and merely anecdotal evidence, I'm not saying that it's true. But it seems that Canadians are more interested in beer than the English (hereafter known as Englishers). This may be symptomatic of having lived in Cambridge where the chance of finding a pub not owned by Greene King in the centre of town is becoming increasingly difficult, but in the pubs I've frequented so far in Toronto, the choice of beers is huge. After our Korean meat extravaganza, we headed to barVolo(?) for a drink before the main event of the evening. Now, normally in an English pub there would be the brewery's standard pints and maybe two or three guest pints. Here, they had two home brewed beers and over 20 different guest beers. What seems to be the difference here is that there is a massive market for local micro-breweries and brewpubs.

I know that there are hundreds of micro-breweries in England, and hundreds of excellent beer-focused pubs, I'm just pleasantly surprised that in Toronto they have more choice than the expected Coors and Budweiser. Thank goodness for making friends with Medievalists, they know and appreciate their beer!

Part 3: - in which I get over excited by James Bond.

I had to wait a whole two weeks after the UK release of Skyfall before it opened here. In preparation I went to the "Designing 007: - 50 Years of Bond" exhibition. They had a large selection of original props, costumes and set designs, trying to highlight how much Bond has influenced style over the years. I always think that Bond is best when he isn't trying to be fashionable (hint hint Roger Moore). All the best Bond films have quite a timeless quality to them, none more so than Skyfall. I don't think that it's any coincidence that this film has been a real success, critically and commercially. The best parts of the film have a very timeless quality to them. The finale set in Scotland could have been taken straight from any era of the Bond films, in fact a lot of it is very reminiscent of Sean Connery running away from the helicopter at the end of From Russia With Love. I thought that the whole film felt very much like a throwback to earlier Bond films.

I've been a fan of Sam Mendes and Roger Deakins for quite a while now and as soon as I heard that they would both be working together on Skyfall, I knew there was the possibility that this would be a good'un. I don't think it's perfect, there are still a few bits which I thought didn't work too well and it seems that the Bond films recent move away from the misogyny of the earlier films has taken a step backward; every woman in this film ended up dead or working behind a desk. Having said that, the film's climax in Scotland was brilliant, and the cinematography was stunningly beautiful.
Fave bits: - The bike chase over the roofs of Istanbul, Bond adjusting his cuffs after jumping onto the train, Silva's entrance, the deserted island, Kincade and the final scene in M's office.

I have only one major complaint. The gun barrel sequence needs to be back at the start of the film, I really don't understand why they've started putting it at the end of the film. I hope they get it right next time.

Best intro? Thunderball

Worst? Die another day. (Stupid bullet.)

No Bonfire night here.

Despite the rapidly cooling weather (I saw snow yesterday!), the chance of getting to celebrate Bonfire night this year seems pretty slim, (I'm still hoping someone will to set fire to something in the next few hours). Therefore, this year I'll have to make do with Halloween.


For me, the excitement started with the Toronto After Dark Film Festival which ran at the Bloor 'Hot Docs' Cinema. It's 9 nights of horror, sci-fi, action and cult movies presented in the trendiest cinema in Downtown Toronto. We went to see Wrong, the latest film from French director Quentin Dupieux (whom you may know as the man behind this).  His last film, Rubber, was about a killer tyre and Wrong is just as bizarre. It included canine telepathy, spontaneous arboreal transformations, mistaken identity and forced vehicular re-design. Megan fell asleep, she claims from jet lag, but I thought it was hilarious and brilliant. The introduction described it as cinematic stand-up, which is a pretty good summation if you ask me.

The second film we saw was A Fantastic Fear of Everything starring Simon Pegg and directed by Crispian Mills of Kula Shaker fame. It started out like a typical Channel 4 comedy special, but once it got going was funny, and original. No great work of art, but the killer's sunglasses alone made it a worthwhile venture.

My Festival T-shirt, which, as you can see, is awesome.

As soon as the film finished we headed to the Centre for Medieval Studies Halloween party which was being held in the Pontifical Institute. Need I say more? The best bit was that they had a keg of beer. My first keg party was in the Pontifical Institute with a painting of his Holiness staring down and me. Despite there being slightly too many Tolkien characters present to make it a truly memorable party, it was really good fun.

On Halloween night proper, Meg and I bought loads of Chocolate in preparation for the hordes of children we expected to be at our door. Not a single knock. Nothing. Lots of chocolate for us. It's been a good week.

The day after Halloween (All Hallows'?), we went to Sorauren Park, where all the local residents take their pumpkins to display their carving prowess. As you can see below, there are some very impressive pumpkins.

Stephen Harper

 

So now I'm off to try to find some fireworks, bonfire toffee, sparklers, toffee apples and something to set fire to. I think I may need to buy some sort of hat as well, it's getting very cold. Probably something with fur would be good. Wish me luck.